Anger and frustration in relationships: how to manage them

 

How they handle anger can make or break a relationship. Don't settle for closing doors and shouting matches. This article will help therapists communicate anger in a healthy way. Anger is normal and natural. Anger can be expressed in any relationship, even if it is not directed at the other person. It is possible to feel anger in relationships with those we love the most, or even romantic partners. Anger doesn't always have to be uncontrollable. Passion can also mean passion in a relationship. Learn how to control my anger and communicate with your partner when you're angry. This skill will help you build intimacy and maturity in a romantic relationship. Clients often ask me How can I control my anger in my relationship. They also have to consider how their actions in a relationship can affect their ability to be the partner that they want. Anger can be expressed in a variety of ways. We may try to control our partner or shut them down, complain to friends, and/or blame them. These strategies may work in the short-term but don't last long. Let's take a look at four simple ways to manage anger and develop maturity in relationships.

 

 

Don’t give in to the need to cut

Sometimes it is tempting to fight or shut down your partner. It can temporarily calm you, but it will likely cause your partner to become more angry or anxious. It doesn't mean you have to fix the problem immediately. Instead of running away or walking away, tell your partner to relax and think about the problem. Your partner should know that you are working to resolve any differences and that it is important to give them time to reflect on what is reasonable. If your partner tends to give you the silent treatment when you forget an anniversary or skip dinner with your parents, this could be a sign that you have suffered anxiety. You can't force your partner into talking to you. However, it is possible to show your partner that you are open and willing to share your thoughts with them when it suits you. You can coerce or threaten your partner to cut off communication.

You, and Not Your Partner,

When someone is angry, we often feel the need for comfort and to soothe them. We cannot control anyone's thoughts, behavior or emotions. Only we are responsible for our actions. Calming down can be more effective than trying to calm another person. It is easier to let go of your own anxieties and reactions than it is to allow the other person to do so. Instead of saying "Please calm yourself down!" Take a few deep breaths and slow down your heartbeat.

Do you worry about anxiety and stress levels?

Take one of our two-minute mental-health quizzes to find out if you may be able to benefit from additional treatment or diagnosis. It is possible that you will get angry at your partner and not see the positive side of your efforts to change their behavior. Communicating your thoughts is important in order to be heard, and not to shame someone else. If your actions and words cause fear in your partner's mind, it is unlikely that you will be heard. Immaturity breeds maturity in relationships. These tactics can escalate conflict and may seem necessary, such as sending a rude text to your partner while they're at work or waking them up at night with your complaints and grievances.

Triangles

If you're angry at your partner, it can be therapeutic to let your anger out to a friend or a child. A way to manage stress is the emotional triangle. It's normal to feel angry and it is completely acceptable. However, sometimes this "triangling" can make it difficult to resolve the problem. This can make your spouse feel more isolated and defensive. If you feel angry at your spouse and feel the need to call them, consider whether you are seeking help or just listening. If you are the latter, it is worth trying to calm down before calling another person. Although it's fine to discuss your problems with your therapist (or even your partner), they should not judge you and help you think. They should not make you feel bad about your partner.

Move past the problems

Certain topics are more likely than others to create anger and anxiety, which can lead to conflict. These topics include religion, money, sex, and family drama. It is easy to believe that differing opinions can cause anger and conflict. However, this is more often than not our inadvertent reactions to these topics. Instead of getting involved in trying to resolve conflicts quickly, try responding maturely. You don't need to be able to take abuse or volatility from your partner. It's about not letting emotions dictate the outcome. It is asking yourself the question "What is my best selves doing in this situation?" Your best self won't be screaming at the people you love or knocking on doors.

Remember that you are only half of your relationship. If you can manage your emotions better and are more calm, your relationship will be calmer and maturer. You may see your partner mature, reaching the same level as you, or you might realize that this is not the right relationship for you. You are refusing to allow anger rule the show. It's possible that one person can make this decision for themselves, and that another person will be able to do the same.

 

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